jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:
- I’m the best to ever do it
- Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)
- No one’s ever done it like me
- I could be President/they should make me President
- Behold, a mere fraction of my power!
- The public wants to be me soooooo bad
- I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)
- How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?
- Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix
- I’m being sabotaged
In light of some of the many things happening across the world this year, I thought this Pride Month needed a special illustration.
Happy Pride Month, may we all stay safe, look after each other, and keep painting our rainbows, no matter what. 🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
In this house we love and appreciate all of taz
Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?
actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.
and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”
listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.
(via owlmylove)
Saw a post about how halal and kosher meat will likely be the only reliably safe options in the US because their safety and cleanliness standards aren’t dictated by what’s the barest legal minimum that government food safety regulations demand.
So you’re like 5 years away from “ever notice how the musulmans and jews never get sick from bad meat? clearly this is proof that they are poisoning us” right now.
For those of you who don’t know, Jewish people had fewer fatalities during the Black Death because they practiced better hygiene than Christians. In response, a number of Christians began to speculate and assert that Jews were actually spreading the disease by poisoning wells, which led to violence committed against Jews. The Wikipedia page on the persecution of Jews during the Black Death has more information on this. If you see this old conspiracy theory pop up in a new form like this, do not fall for it.
(via amuseoffyre)
happy pride month in the US to everyone who was eligible to vote who voted for Kamala Harris and no one else in the US
Ninerose sketches
It’s still kinda wild how Phineas and Ferb managed to completely hijack an idiom. Now whenever someone hears a sentence leading with “If I had a nickel for everytime […]”, odds are their brain auto fills with “I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice,” rather than “I’d be rich,” or “I could [action that requires purchasing something requiring an obscene amount of money]”. Y'know, what the idiom originally was
(via amyeliott)
can we get three cheers for the first entirely non-white TARDIS dynamic in the franchise’s history
me when im in an Area
That’s a guy alright
he’s so fucking over there
(via turbotasstic)
had to show you guys. he looks so unbelievably bad. for context he always gets shit crusted in his fur because he doesn’t maintain it so my mom decided to give him a haircut and wanted to even it out
they greebled him
this is so cute and sweet but the song choice combined with the silverback’s incredible run (which all bipedal gorilla runs are) is making me lose it
(via lesbian-empress-of-hell)